Why is everyone picking on Pat Robertson?

Pat Robertson

Lately, I have been very disturbed at what some "people" are saying about Pat Robertson. They are saying slanderous things about a man who is God-fearing, moral and the perfect example of an American Christian. Pat Robertson is holy. In fact, I would say he is super-über-holy-tastic. I am so angry over what self-righteous religion-haters are saying I decided to refute their ridiculous claims in a scathing essay.

People say Pat is intolerant of other religions (non-evangelical religions). They are angry about him saying that Episcopalians, Presbyterians and Methodists harbor the spirit of the Antichrist. That's not offensive, it's just true. I've been to services of those three religions and I was horrified when, at the end of the service, the reverend/minister prayed for "the coming of the Dark Lord and his angels to cleanse the world from all holiness". Normally, I would have stormed out in a fit of righteous indignation. However, they were having doughnuts in the Parrish Hall after the service. I knew it would be a good opportunity to convince them of their errors and help them return to the Grace of the Lord.

Others are very upset over what Pat said about Hindus. Come on, people! All he said was that Hinduism was demonic and their millions of deities had put them in spiritual bondage for thousands of years. Once again, true. Any religious or spiritual idea that is not in the Bible is clearly evil. I have a Hindu neighbor and when I asked him about his godless idol worshipping he said the images weren?t gods in a Christian sense, but more like saints who are supernatural in nature. He also said they may be manifestations of the supreme god Vishnu. I reminded him there is no Vishnu in Father, Son and Holy Ghost. This year, I'll be sending him a Christmas card with an invitation to accept the truth.

In 1998, the gay community had a big hissy fit over Pat. He was rightfully upset about Disney World sponsoring an iniquitous "Gay Days" weekend. He only warned that the acceptance of homosexuals could cause hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorist bombings and maybe even a meteor. I might add that it could cause another Paris Hilton reality show-just kidding, I love to joke. Anyway, I'm wagging my finger at Disney for being sell outs. And a message to you gays: stop trying to buy everyone out! It's not like we live in capitalist society where you can buy anything with money! Why not choose to be straight? Then you won't have to buy acceptance because you'll be normal.

Some say his political associations and statements are wrong and offensive. He only suggested a nucular weapon be dropped on the United States Department of State. If Pat said it there must be a reason. Maybe employees of the state department were practicing witchcraft or feminism or consorting with the ACLU. Those are capital crimes after all. How can government employees be of service to this great Christian Nation when they espouse ideas that are contrary to nature and righteousness?

A few crazy U.N. lovers got mad when he said we should assassinate Hugo Chavez and that Ariel Sharon had a stroke because he wanted to give more land to Palestinians. I don't understand why people can't see the connection between religion and politics. Why do you think St. Peter founded the Republican Party? It was to show that if you have the wrong political ideas you will be struck down and should be struck down. It's a lesson that some of our leaders need to learn.

Others say it was completely inappropriate that he held a 21 day pray-a-thon asking for vacancies on the Supreme Court. Some of the Justices were pretty angry when he called them black robed tyrants. The truth hurts, I guess. I don't know why Americans can't see how the courts are out of control. The Judicial system has become like some kind of 4th branch of the government. They are taking control. Soon activist judges will be telling you what to say and how to dress and they will make everyone be atheists! I applaud Pat's commitment to keep the judicial system out of the government. Let's keep political power where it belongs-solely with the President.

Last year there was an uproar on a lot of sinful college campuses when Pat said liberal professors were racists, murderers, sex fiends and Al-Qaeda supporters. I guess those left-wing professors were upset when Pat exposed all their secrets. I knew some people who thought it was silly to say all professors are that way. Not me. I remember when I was in college and a sociology professor just went on and on about how he liked to indulge in a racist murdering spree followed by an orgy at an Al-Qaeda meeting. A whacko tried to tell me there would never be an orgy at an Al-Qaeda meeting. I thought to myself, 'How would he know unless he was a member!' Don't worry. I called Homeland Security right away and had that terrorist put behind bars!

There are a few greedy people who are so jealous of Pat's financial success that all they can do is try to tear him down. They were critical of my friend Pat for supporting former Liberian President Charles Taylor just because Pat has an $8 million investment in a Liberian gold mine. They think Pat is all about money. What they don't know is that Pat's plan was to use the money from the gold mine to aid humanitarian and evangelical efforts in Africa. Getting rid of Charles Taylor just because he caused a civil war and ruined all hope for people who are suffering in Africa is a silly idea. I hope everyone can sleep at night knowing Pat's generosity was ruined by an evil political scheme.

Pat Robertson has done nothing wrong. I think people should just leave him alone and let the Holy Spirit fill him with the truths that will save us from certain destruction. If everyone were like Pat Robertson the world would be a paradise full of peace and righteousness. We would be free from suffering, hatred, non-Christians, liberals and people who think their own ideas are valid. Wow! Heaven on Earth!!

March 2008