The Life and Times of Saint Patrick
A brief biography
387 AD Saint Patrick was born in Britain and given the name Patrick Uther Higginbotham. The midwife was impressed with his beard.
401 Pat was kidnapped by Irish raiders and sold into slavery. He had to clean blarney stones and make corned beef for rich people.
407 He escaped Ireland and went back to his family. His mother was upset that he became a slave without even leaving a note.
412 Patrick left his life of sin and became a Christian. He was instantly advanced to the rank of Bishop and was given magical powers that would come in handy later.
428 He began his ministry in Ireland.
456 Patrick cast out the snakes, including Tiamat, the Babylonian Snake Godess, who was there for some reason.
478 Patrick was forced to fight an army of daleks who threatened to destroy Dublin.
493 Saint Patrick died when Satan crushed him with the moon.
Saint Patrick Mad Lib
